they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i now understand why vodka
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
