The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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