My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
