There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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