You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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