It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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