dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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