I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize