then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
