I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
