Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
as a side note pls kill me
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