I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
