Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
