chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
