They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
