so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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