We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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