It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
