I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
