I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
