They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize