toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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