i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
