What a fucking waste of an outfit
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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