check it out our google latitudes are spooning
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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