You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
