Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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