can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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