you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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