roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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