My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
