i just had sex bonerless
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize