Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
