Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
