What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
