I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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