found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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