I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
