you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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