highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm like, not good at living.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
