no, he came in my armpit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
