Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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