you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
