You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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