I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Let's get the cat blown out
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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