This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
