HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
