Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
