We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize