My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
