Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
