My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
