dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
