My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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