can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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