Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The feeling are messing with the penis
my liver is dry heaving
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
