no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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