so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
