I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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