Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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