Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
this hospital has no fireball
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
