wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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