I got chris browned last night
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
