u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
lets start a swedish sibling band together
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
