dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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