i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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