He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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