Your face is a jimmy john
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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