yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
