the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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