I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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