Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
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watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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