So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
