She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize