Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
